Showing posts with label Compassion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Compassion. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Rebooting International Cooperation

 Link: https://globaldimension.org.uk/resources/december-activity-rebooting-international-cooperation/

Alongside our 2021/22 Global Learning Wall Planner - 10 Ways to Reboot the Future - we’re releasing a series of monthly classroom resources. 

Each of our class activity resources explores a different focus for creating a more sustainable and compassionate future, based on the 10 Big Shifts in Jonathon Porritt’s Rise Up to Reboot the Future.

The activities are adaptable for all age ranges and can be used as standalone activities for tutor group sessions or can slot into a lesson.

Rebooting International Cooperation

This month’s class activity explores December's theme of International Cooperation. Learners explore the concept of the Tragedy of the Commons through a game where resources are replenished as they are used up. Participants have to find a way to cooperate so that the resources don't run out.

New this year: monthly challenges

Every month we will be setting a series of challenges – complete one or more of the challenges as a whole class, or choose 2 or 3 pupils to complete one each month over the course of the year.

To win a bundle of books for your class – all linked to this month’s theme - simply post a photo of your class’s completed challenge on social media before the end of September 2021, and tag @globaldimension for the chance to win.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

21 Simple Ways to Integrate Social-Emotional Learning Throughout the Day

by Elizabeth Mulvahill

ESSA recognizes social-emotional education as an important factor in helping students develop crucial life skills that go beyond academics. For an awesome infographic on the core competencies of social-emotional learning, click here.
Here are 21 simple ways you can support social-emotional learning for your students every day.

1. Start the day with a check-in.

Make it a goal to start each day with a personal connection. It doesn’t need to be a time-consuming or elaborate procedure. It could be as simple as giving a warm greeting to welcome each person as they arrive in the morning.

2. Use story time for teachable moments.

Read-alouds are the perfect tool for exploring social-emotional themes with your class. They’re not just for little kids either—there are tons of gorgeous picture books with complex themes and vocabulary that older kids will love too. Here’s a list to help start your social-emotional book library.
Storytime - 21 Ways to Integrate Social Emotional Learning

3. Work in partnerships.

Give kids lots of opportunities to work with partners. Working with a partner helps kids learn to cooperate and builds community in your classroom. Alternate between strategically assigning partnerships and allowing kids to make their own choices.

4. Teach them how to work in a group.

Being able to work in a group setting is an important life skill. Students will learn how to negotiate with others, develop leadership skills and figure out their own strengths so they can best contribute to the group. Click here for tips to make group work more productive.

5. Nurture a culture of kindness.

At the beginning of the year, read Have You Filled a Bucket Today?, a story about the power of kind words. Then create your own bucket for the classroom. Get a small tin bucket from a craft store and cut 3-by-3-inch pieces out of card stock. Kids can write messages of kindness, appreciation and love on the cards throughout the week to fill up the bucket. At the end of each week, spend a few minutes sharing these notes of encouragement to end the week on a positive note.

6. Give them new words to say.

Here’s a free poster, “8 Phrases That Nurture Growth Mindset,” that gives students positive phrases they can use to foster their resilience and overcome failure. Hang a large copy on the wall, or give them their own smaller version for their journals or planners.

7. Set up a Peace Place.

Create a special place in your classroom for kids to take a break when they are upset or angry or need to calm themselves. This space should have a peaceful atmosphere and might include comfy pillows to sit on, noise-canceling headphones, a fish tank, journaling materials, calming images and/or books about peace.

8. Teach your kids how to manage conflict with peer mediation.

Peer mediation is a problem-solving process that helps students involved in a dispute meet in a private, safe and confidential setting to work out problems with the help of a student mediator. There are lots of programs out there—here’s one sample curriculum.

9. Use anchor charts to teach social-emotional skills.

You can create anchor charts with your class about many different topics, from “Owning Your Learning” to “What Does Respect Look Like?” and “Be a Problem-Solver.” Check out the WeAreTeachers Classroom Management Anchor Charts Pinterest board for many more ideas.

10. Practice lots of role-play.

Sometimes you have to put yourself in someone else’s shoes to truly understand a situation. Taking time to role-play tricky or troubling situations that show up in your classroom helps kids develop empathy and understand other people’s feelings. For example, it’s a great strategy to use when discussing bullying. Read The 10 Key Benefits of Role-Play for Children.

11. Allow for talk time.

Give kids a lot of opportunities—both structured and unstructured—to talk to one another during the course of the day. Bouncing ideas off of one another or figuring out problems with a little give-and-take will help your students build understanding and confidence. Here are 10 great techniques to try with your students. When your class is cracking up and getting wiggly, taking a five-minute chat break is a great way to hit the reset button.

12. Play games to build community.

Cooperative-learning games can promote social and relationship skills. There are tons of resources out there for activities to play in your classroom. Here’s one we love: 10 Team-Building Games That Promote Critical Thinking.

13. Buddy up with an older or younger class.

Having a special connection with another class is a great way to build positive ongoing relationships in your school community. Kids are always amazed at how easy it is to find common ground with younger or older students. The big kids feel important and the little kids feel special. For how-tos, check out The Power of Buddy Classrooms: 19 Ideas.

14. Build community with teams.

Consider an alternative seating arrangement that allows kids to sit in teams. Let each team create an original name, motto and flag. This is a great way for students to feel a sense of belonging, and it encourages collaboration and cooperation. Change up teams every 6 to 12 weeks.

15. Teach them to monitor their own progress.

Make personal goal-setting (academic, emotional, social, etc.) a regular activity with your students. It will strengthen their intrapersonal skills and give them ownership of their own learning. Help them develop the habit of revisiting and adjusting their goals often to monitor progress. Am I meeting my goals? What do I need to work on next? How do I want to grow? For more on goal setting, click here.

16. Hold class meetings.

Check in frequently to celebrate what is working and address things that need tweaking within your classroom community. Empower all of your students with a voice and a vote to give them ownership of their environment.

17. Make space for reflective writing.

Give your student time to journal and free-write. Put on quiet music. Dim the lights. Make writing time a quiet, soothing break from busyness that your students will look forward to. For stubborn starters, you can provide a menu of optional prompts. For more information, read 6 Benefits of Journal Writing.

18. Encourage expression through art.

Sometimes students think and feel things that they can’t quite put into words. Art is a great tool to allow them to explore topics from a different perspective. Sketch your thoughts and feelings out as a prewriting activity. Create a painting as an interpretation of a piece of music or poetry.

19. Assign interview projects.

Have your students interview each other throughout the year about topics such as cultural background, family traditions or opinions about a current event. Conducting a formal interview is different than a casual conversation and teaches skills such as focused listening and conversational skills. In addition, learning about their classmates will broaden their perspective as they consider that everyone’s background and experience is not necessarily the same as their own.

20. Put ’em to work.

Classroom jobs teach responsibility and give kids ownership of their classroom. Pride in a job well done is a great confidence-builder. Here are 25 fun, easy job charts you can create for your classroom.

21. End each day with a checkout.

Circle up for just a few minutes at the end of each day to reflect on your day together. Check in with how your students are feeling, talk about what went well, read some notes from the kindness bucket and set some goals for tomorrow.  


Link: https://www.weareteachers.com/21-simple-ways-to-integrate-social-emotional-learning-throughout-the-day/

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Earthlings - Full length documentary (multi-subtitles)



Source: http://earthlings.com

EARTHLINGS is a powerful and informative documentary about society’s treatment of animals, narrated by Joaquin Phoenix with soundtrack by Moby. This multi-award winning film by Nation Earth is a must-see for anyone who cares about animals or wishes to make the world a better place.


Thursday, October 30, 2014

7 Practical Ideas for Compassionate Communities, From Free College to Debt Relief

by Shannan Stoll


Kerry Morrison interviews homeless veteran John Watkins in the Hollywood Hills. Hollywood was one of the first communities to join the 100,000 Homes Campaign. Watkins has been provided with housing. Photo by Rudy Salinas at Path.

1. 100,000 homes so far

Teams of volunteers across the country hit the streets early in the morning to put a name and a face to the long-term homeless in their communities. The volunteers started canvassing at 4 a.m., combing the streets to gather names, photographs, and stories of the people sleeping there. They searched for the people at the highest risk of dying from being on the streets. Once they identified the most vulnerable people, they offered them a home.

That was the 100,000 Homes campaign’s approach to eliminating homelessness in communities across the country for the past four years, and it worked. In June, one month before their deadline, campaign organizer Community Solutions announced that its more than 230 partnering cities, counties, and states had surpassed the goal of placing 100,000 people in homes in just four years. It was a bold goal. In the traditional housing placement system, it often takes more than a year to work through the multiple agencies, treatments, and counseling requirements to secure a home. The process is intended to ensure that government subsidies for housing go to the people best prepared to receive them. The 100,000 Homes campaign flipped this paradigm by offering housing first. Once housed, people received supportive services to deal with substance abuse, mental illness, and joblessness. The housing first method is quicker, and it’s successful. Studies show that two years after receiving supportive housing for free, more than 80 percent of people were still living in a home instead of on the street.

Community Solutions isn’t stopping with 100,000 homes. Next January, the organization will launch Zero: 2016. This new national campaign will target the elimination of all chronic and military veteran homelessness, one home at a time. It’s another bold goal, and they just might do it.

Photo by the All-Nite Images.

2. Suddenly debt free

When 80-year-old Shirley Logsdon went into the hospital for a back injury, she came out with nearly $1,000 in debt that she would never be able to pay. For a year and a half, she received persistent phone calls from debt collectors. Then Logsdon received a letter from Rolling Jubilee. “You no longer owe the balance of this debt,” it read. “It is gone, a gift with no strings attached.”
Letters like the one Logsdon received were sent to 2,693 people last November, when Rolling Jubilee bought and forgave $13.5 million in personal debt. A newly released study by the Urban Institute says about 77 million people in the United States have debt that is subject to collections—often debt that was incurred to pay for basic needs. That’s one of the reasons the Occupy Wall Street group Strike Debt formed the Rolling Jubilee project. “We believe that no one should have to go into debt for the basic things in our lives, like healthcare, housing, and education,” the group says. Since forming in November 2012, Rolling Jubilee has bought nearly $15 million of debt for just $400,000 on the secondary debt market, where lenders sell unpaid bills to collectors for just pennies on the dollar. Thousands of individual donations averaging just $40 have paid for these debt buys. It’s a bailout for the people, funded by the people.


3. Stuff of good neighbors

Freecycle and Craigslist give new life to old stuff by facilitating porch pickups for everything from free lamps and scrap wood to cans of food close to their expiration dates. That kind of stuff is posted on Buy Nothing’s local Facebook pages too, but the group is about a lot more than just stuff. It’s about the people and stories behind the stuff and the porch meetings between neighbors.

One year after it began, the Buy Nothing Project has grown into a social media movement with more than 225 local groups across the country and the world. Rebecca Rockefeller cofounded the first Buy Nothing group on Bainbridge Island, Wash., and says the project is helping communities discover their abundance. “There’s enough stuff to go around,” she says, “and the way we learn that is by getting to know our neighbors, asking for what we need, and giving what we have. Everyone has something to give.” People give away their dusty household goods, but they also give childcare, cooking classes, and garden produce. People ask for what they need, too: One neighbor asks for a piece of land to bury a beloved pet, another for a late-night store run to pick up medicine.
Photo by Mark Peterson / Redux.

4. The city that pays for college

In 2005, residents of the declining rust-belt city of Kalamazoo, Mich., received some unbelievably good news: A new program supported by private donors would fund Kalamazoo kids’ college tuition up to 100 percent at any of Michigan’s public colleges and universities. The Kalamazoo Promise would be available to any student enrolled in a Kalamazoo public school since the ninth grade. It was the most comprehensive scholarship program in the entire country.

Nearly a decade later, the place-based scholarship program has inspired more than 30 similar programs across the United States. While not all communities have donors with pockets deep enough to fund a program like the Kalamazoo Promise, the program is demonstrating how radical investment in youth can transform a struggling community and have a huge impact on its most vulnerable populations. Since 2005, young families have returned to the city, and enrollment in the school district has increased 24 percent. The number of minority students taking AP courses has increased 300 percent. The city has spent more money on the district than ever before—a lot more. Test scores have improved, and GPAs have increased, most notably among black students. The list of achievements goes on, and just this June, the program announced its expansion to include tuition coverage at 15 of Michigan’s private liberal arts colleges. “There is no wholly literate urban community in the United States,” says district superintendent Michael Rice. “We aim to be the first.”

Photo by O+.

5. Medical care for a song

Without a steady paycheck, retirement package, or health care, independent artists and musicians often have to sacrifice health and security for their art. In Kingston, N.Y., a unique arts festival is helping change that by bringing neighbors together to care for one another.

At the O+ Festival, art and music are exchanged for fillings, physical therapy, routine physician’s exams, and other health services. The festival began when a Kingston dentist wondered aloud to his artist friend if he could get a band he liked from Brooklyn to play for free dental care. He could, it turned out, and with the help of a few friends in the arts, his idea grew into the first O+ Festival in 2010. At the fourth annual O+ last year, providers at the festival pop-up clinic offered 99 dental appointments and 350 hours of health services for the 80 artists and musicians who performed and presented during the three-day festival. “Building a community around O+ speaks to the simple idea of compassion and being part of a community,” says Joe Concra, a painter who co-founded the festival. “Because we’ve become accustomed to huge companies providing everything we need, we forget to look to our neighbors to see what they can offer.”

Photo by Masbia Photo.

6. The finest dining

Masbia serves up dignity with dinner to hundreds of hungry New Yorkers every day. Instead of long lines and a tedious intake process, diners at this soup kitchen are greeted by a friendly host and ushered to a private table for a delicious three-course kosher meal. No questions, just healthy food. Original artwork decorates the walls, the atmosphere is cozy, and the menu is prepared using fresh ingredients donated by farmers markets and CSAs. Nearly all the kitchen and wait staff are volunteers.

“It’s a restaurant with no cash register,” says executive director Alexander Rapaport. When Rapaport began Masbia, his goal was to provide kosher food in a comfortable, welcoming atmosphere. “Doing it with dignity means people will come,” he says, and he’s right. Every day, more than 500 people come to Masbia’s three locations. This year alone, the growing organization expects to serve more than 1 million meals.
Photo by IMAS.

7. Immigrant Mutual Aid

Before state-funded programs and large insurance companies, many people turned to community networks for services like health care, unemployment aid, and education. In mutual aid societies, people pooled resources to pay the salary of a community doctor, outfit a schoolhouse, or give financial and emotional support to members who were sick or out of work. Today, mutual aid remains an important alternative for people with limited or no access to state-funded services. Cooperatively run pre-K schools, lending circles for low-income groups, and even some housing associations fill in the gaps left by state services. Mutual aid societies are still particularly relevant among immigrant communities.

In Chicago, home to some 3,000 Iraqi refugees, the Iraqi Mutual Aid Society is Iraqi immigrants helping each other adjust to American society. Language and vocational classes provide practical skills while social and cultural events like poetry contests and concerts help refugees remain connected to their unique culture and community. Resources include free and reduced-cost child care, and the group’s Immigration Legal Services Program provides help with naturalization petitions. According to iraqimutualaid.org, the region expects at least 800 more refugees annually over the next several years.

Source: http://www.yesmagazine.org/issues/the-end-of-poverty/7-practical-ideas-for-compassionate-communities

Shannan Stoll wrote this article for The End of Poverty, the Fall 2014 issue of YES! Magazine. Shannan is a freelance writer.
Read more:

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Pioneers of Peace

Pioneers of Peace ™ is a non-profit organization dedicated to cultivating peace by fostering compassion, altruism, and gratitude. We do our part in relieving local and global suffering by providing humanitarian aid to women and children.
Compassion
Compassion
As Pioneers of Peace (POP) we are dedicated to the promotion of human development and resilience. Our efforts are founded on principles of gratitude, compassion, and altruism.  We choose optimism over cynicism. We recognize that even simple acts of kindness are powerful, whether performed by individuals or groups. Such efforts alleviate suffering and elevate consciousness. Acts of generosity inspire others and foster a spirit of giving; we are thus committed to raising the awareness of individuals and groups who are actively engaged in making a positive difference in the world.
As pioneers of peace we make a personal commitment to our own kindness and growth, understanding that we cannot ask of the world what we are unwilling to do ourselves.  We hold that the act of “giving back” is the strongest evidence of resilience; therefore as Pioneers of Peace, We Walk, Not Just Talk.
Pioneers of Peace ™ has a two-fold mission.
1) We cultivate peace by promoting compassion, altruism, and gratitude.
  • We define peace as individual well-being, and goodwill toward others.
  • We believe well-being is enhanced, on every level by focusing on the needs of others.
  • We seek to strengthen pro-social values across all age groups through education and opportunities to practice pro-social behavior.
  • We walk, not just talk.
2) We relieve suffering by providing humanitarian aid to women and children
  • We support The Zero Hunger Challenge[i] by providing school meals
  • We support World Food Program USA, in their effort to fund the School Meals Program[ii].
  • We believe hunger is a solvable problem
  • We utilize fundraisers, the sale of unique products and educational presentations to accomplish our humanitarian goals.
[i] The Zero Hunger Challenge is a global initiative, which aims to build support around the goal of achieving Zero Hunger. It was launched by United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-moon and call on everyone-governments, the private sector, non-government organizations (NGOs), and the public- to do their part to achieve this goal. It is based on a shared conviction that hunger can be eliminated in our lifetimes. http://www.wfp.org/zero-hunger
[ii] No child should go to school hungry. Today, an estimated 66 million students across the developing world attend primary school hungry, with 23 million children in Africa alone.
School meals can be life-changing for the world’s poorest children. School meals also help to get students into the classroom, giving them an important key to a better future—an education.
The United Nations World Food Programme (WFP) provides school meals to more than 24 million children each year. Just 25 cents provides a child with a nutritious meal, such as porridge, rice or beans. School meals help to improve children’s nutrition, ability to learn and life chances. School feeding also gives poor families an incentive to send children to school, especially girls. http://wfpusa.org/what-wfp-does/school-meals
Come on over to http://www.pioneersofpeace.org and check us out :-)
Until next time may you find your cup half full :-)
Barbara
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Source: http://pioneersofpeace.org/

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Compassion Training

What is the difference between empathy and compassion? Is it possible to train compassion? Can it be measured? How useful is compassion training in schools, clinical settings, and end-of-life care? Can the brain be transformed through mental training?

The free eBook: Compassion. Bridging Practice and Science by Tania Singer and Matthias Bolz describes existing secular compassion training programs and empirical research as well as the experiences of practitioners. The state-of-the-art layout of the eBook includes video clips and a selection of original sound collages by Nathalie Singer, and artistic images by Olafur Eliasson.
In addition, the film Raising Compassion by Tania Singer and Olafur Eliasson brings together workshop participants in a remarkable exchange between science, art, and contemplative practice.



Source: http://www.compassion-training.org/

Saturday, April 5, 2014

What Makes a Compassionate Man?

By Kozo Hattori

What does it take to foster compassion in men? To find out, Kozo Hattori interviewed scientific and spiritual experts.

I remember being a very compassionate child. While watching The Little House on the Prairie, I cried my eyes out when Laura couldn’t give Pa a Christmas gift. But 12 years of physical abuse and being forced to the confines of the “act-like-a-man box” wrung most of that compassion out of me by the time I reached adulthood.

Although I was what therapists call “high functioning,” my lack of compassion was like a cancer that poisoned my friendships, relationships, business affairs, and life. At the age of 46, I hit rock bottom. Unemployed and on the verge of divorce, I found myself slapping my four-year-old son’s head when he wouldn’t listen to me. As the survivor of abuse, I had promised myself that I would never lay a hand on my children, but here I was abusing my beloved son. 

I knew I had to change. I started with empathy, which led me to compassion. I committed to a daily meditation practice, took the CCARE Cultivating Compassion class at Stanford University, and completed a ten-day silent meditation retreat. I read and researched everything I could find on compassion. I found that the more compassion I felt, the happier I became. 

Convinced that I had found an essential ingredient to a happy and peaceful life, I started to interview scientific and spiritual experts on compassion, trying to find out what made a compassionate man. Interviewees included Dr. Dacher Keltner, co-founder of the UC Berkeley Greater Good Science Center; Dr. James Doty, founder and director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University; Dr. Rick Hanson, author of Hardwiring Happiness; Marc Brackett, director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence; and Thich Nhat Hanh, the Zen Buddhist Monk nominated by Martin Luther King Jr. for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1967.

From these interviews and research, I compiled a list of what makes a compassionate man. 

1. A fundamental understanding of compassion

Most events I attend that discuss compassion are predominantly attended by women. When I asked Thich Nhat Hanh how we could make compassion more attractive to men, he answered, “There must be a fundamental misunderstanding about the nature of compassion because compassion is very powerful…Compassion protects us more than guns, bombs, and money.” Although many men in society see compassion and sympathy as feminine—which translates to a weakness in our patriarchal society—all of the compassionate men I interviewed view compassion as a strength.
Dr. Hanson noted how compassion makes one more courageous since compassion strengthens the heart—courage comes from the French word “Coeur,” which means heart. Dacher Keltner argues that Darwin believed in “survival of the kindest,” not the fittest. Dr. Ted Zeff, author of Raise an Emotionally Healthy Boy, believes that only compassionate men can save the planet. Zeff argues that “the time has come to break the outdated, rigid male code that insists that all men should be aggressive, thick-skinned, and unemotional”—an excellent description of the act-like-a-man box that I tried to live in.
The compassionate men I interviewed agree with the Dalai Lama when he said, “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”

2. Compassionate role models

All of the compassionate men seemed to have role models that supported their compassion instinct. Marc Brackett gives credit to his uncle, Marvin Maurer, who was a social studies teacher trying to instill emotional intelligence in his student before the term emotional intelligence was coined. Over 30 years after teaching in middle school, Maurer’s “Feeling Words Curriculum” acts as a key component of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence RULER program. Similarly, Marshall Rosenberg, author of Nonviolent Communication, constantly mentions his compassionate uncle who cared for his dying grandmother. 

A role model doesn’t necessarily have to be living, or even real. Chade-Meng Tan, author of Search Inside Yourself, cites Ben Kingsley’s portrayal of Gandhi as a role model for compassion. Dr. Rick Hanson posits Ender from the science-fiction novel Ender’s Game as a compassionate role model. Certainly, Jesus and Buddha are obvious role models of compassion. The key is to treat them like role models. 

Role models are not meant to be worshiped, deified, or prayed to. They are meant to be emulated. They pave the way for us to walk a similar path. Can we turn the other cheek and love our enemies like Jesus asked us? Can we transcend our ego and see all things as one, like the Buddha did?
In contrast are individuals who were not guided by positive role models. In his book From Wild Man to Wise Man, Franciscan friar Richard Rohr describes what he calls “father hunger”: “Thousands and thousands of men, young and old…grew up without a good man’s love, without a father’s understanding and affirmation.” Rohr, who was a jail chaplain for 14 years, claims that “the only universal pattern I found with men and women in jail was that they did not have a good father.”
Scott Kriens, former CEO of Juniper Networks and founder/director of the 1440 Foundation, concurs: “The most powerful thing we can do for our children is be the example we can hope for.”

3. Transcendence of gender stereotypes

All of the compassionate men interviewed broke out of the act-like-a-man box. At a certain point in his life, Dr. Rick Hanson realized that he was too left brained, so he made a conscious effort to re-connect with his intuitive, emotional side. When Elad Levinson, program director for Spirit Rock Meditation Center, first encountered loving-kindness and compassion practices, his first reaction was what he claims to be fairly typical for men: “Come on! You are being a wuss, Levinson. No way are you going to sit here and wish yourself well.” So the actual practice of compassion instigated his breaking free from gender stereotypes. 

Dr. Ted Zeff cites a study that found infant boys are more emotionally reactive than infant girls, but by the time a boy reaches five or six years old “he’s learned to repress every emotion except anger, because anger is the only emotion society tells a boy he is allowed to have.” If society restricts men’s emotional spectrum to anger, then it is obvious men need to transcend this conditioning to become compassionate. 

Dr. Doty points to artificially defined roles as a major problem in our society because they prevent men from showing their vulnerability. “If you can’t be vulnerable, you can’t love,” says Doty. Vulnerability is a key to freedom from the act-like-a-man box, for it allows men to remove the armor of masculinity and authentically connect with others. 

Both Dr. Doty and Scott Kriens emphasize authenticity as a necessary pathway to compassion. Kriens defines authenticity as “when someone is sharing what they believe as opposed to what they want you to believe.”  This opens the door to compassion and true connection with others.

4. Emotional intelligence

In Raising Cain, Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson argue that most boys are raised to be emotionally ignorant: “Lacking an emotional education, a boy meets the pressure of adolescence and that singularly cruel peer culture with the only responses he has learned and practiced—and that he know are socially acceptable—the typical ‘manly’ responses of anger, aggression, and emotional withdrawal.” 

In contrast, most of the men I interviewed were “emotionally literate.” They seemed to see and feel things with the sensitivity of a Geiger counter. Tears welled up in Dr. Doty’s eyes a number of times when he talked about compassion. Dr. Hanson explained how he landed in adulthood “from the neck up” then spent a large part of his 20s becoming whole again. Much of Chade-Meng Tan’s Search Inside Yourself training that he developed for the employees of Google is based on emotional intelligence developed through attention training, self-knowledge, and self-mastery. 

Similarly, Father Richard Rohr leads initiation groups for young men that force initiates to face pain, loneliness, boredom, and suffering to expand their emotional and spiritual capacity. It is no coincidence that these initiations are held in nature. Nature seems to be an important liminal space that allows boys and men to reconnect with their inner world. Dr. Hanson is an avid mountain climber. Dr. Ted Zeff advocates spending time in nature with boys to allow their sensitivity to develop.

5. Silence

Almost all of the men I interviewed regularly spend some time in silence. They’d hit “pause” so that they can see themselves and others more clearly. When our interview approached two hours, Dr. Rick Hanson asked to wrap it up so he would have time for his morning meditation. Meng Tan had just returned from a week-long silent meditation retreat a few days before our interview. Scott Kriens started a daily sitting and journaling practice almost ten years ago that he rigorously practices to this day.

Father Richard Rohr practices Christian contemplative prayer, which he says leads to a state of “undefended knowing” that transcends dualistic, us/them thinking. Rohr argues that true compassion can’t happen without transcending dualistic thinking. “Silence teaches us not to rush to judgment,” says Rohr. 

Self-awareness through mindfulness practices like meditation, silent prayer, or being in nature allow compassionate men to embrace suffering without reacting, resisting, or repressing. Thich Nhat Hanh says that mindfulness holds suffering tenderly “like a mother holding a baby.” That poetic image is backed up by more and more research, which is finding that mindfulness can help foster compassion for others.

So the path to making more compassionate men is clear: understand compassion as a strength, get to know yourself, transcend gender roles, look for positive role models—and become one yourself. If that sounds too complicated, 84-year-old Marvin Maurer sums up being a compassionate man in five easy words, “Be in love with love.”